Am I a Blogger?

I've realised that I love blogging. I really enjoyed writing every day during NaBloPoMo. It's also become clear to me that if I don't have to do it (even if it's a self-imposed 'have to'), I won't (or more accurately, I'll write some notes or begin a post and then probably never get back to it). On the flip side, I've also realised, as part of this rather odd process of re-testing my limits (now that I'm no longer crippled by gluten and casein-induced anxiety), that I can set myself a challenge and actually complete it.

Wow! Let me just think about that for a minute. I've been trying and failing to prove something (anything) all my life (I have NEVER not struggled. Seriously. NEVER) and in November, I set myself a challenge on a mad whim and I completed it. It certainly wasn't easy, but I completed it without tearing my life apart or having a breakdown or needing to retreat from the world at the end of it. Wow.

It was a weekend of revelations. As I went about exploring new bloggy vistas, it began to feel a little as if the Internet was speaking to me. Half of the posts I read seemed to have a message aimed square at my chest. It culminated in a post on Diminishing Lucy which I visited via The Rewind, a weekly link up that she hosted this weekend. She was explaining her advanced to-do list technique and how it helped her achieve her goals. I was thinking how impressive she was in a completely alien not-at-all-like-me, I-could-never-do-that kind of way. And then I went off to read other things until it slowly dawned on me, why the hell not? Who knows what I'm capable of now (or what I'll be capable of in a year or five)? Not me.

And so I'm writing a list (or several lists). Inspired by this post on And Then There Were Four which I also read on the weekend, I'm making a 52 in 52 list for 2012 and right near the top there, after some health-related stuff is "blog 5 days a week". I'm aiming to give myself the best chance of success by making it a weekly average so that I can catch up if I get behind and I'm starting early to give myself a bit of a run up.

Even as I write this, I'm thinking, "That sounds like a lot of work. I'm not sure I'm up to it." Maybe not, but I'm going to give it a try. I guess we'll see if the post-anxiety disorder me is a blogger.