I Didn't Change the World Today

Our tax return arrived. I discovered it within minutes of it landing in our account. I've been checking for it. Now we can let that stale suspenseful breath out for a little while at least. It's not over yet though. We know it's only a matter of time, but we can't help feeling the injustice of it all. I'm trying to let it inspire, but sometimes it feels like a noose. We're always one minor disaster away from falling. We had every reason to believe that our hard work was about to pay off and now it seems that we have a few more months of tight-rope walking ahead of us yet.


I'm just a bit tired, really. At least the end is in sight and these lean times are a good training ground for us to make our dreams real over the next few years.


Poor baby, Wawa, is still grumpy and off colour after her last vaccination a few weeks ago. I realised today what a challenging few months this has been for all of us. Wawa hasn't felt good for more than a week between vaccinations and cold after cold after cold. Our house moving spanned that whole period. There are still boxes in the store room to waiting to be unpacked. I just hope she feels well soon and resumes her happy toddlerhood. Seeing her unhappy and clingy for so long hurts my heart and wears me down.


The arrival of our tax return meant that I could make a couple of purchases that we've been putting off. One was Wawa's first pair of summer sandals. I opted for independence over natural materials, so Ni, Wawa and I headed off to the Croc shop at the behemoth mall half an hour away.


What an experience! Going there reminded me how small we have made our world and why. I think we all felt overwhelmed. I shelter myself amongst somewhat like-minded people and pretend that we are a cross-section, but we're not.


Wawa seemed a little disconcerted by the whole shoe buying process, but she wore her Crocs home and spent a good half hour putting them on and taking them off, so I think she likes them well enough. 

Ni bought a couple of Jibbitz, little plastic decorations that fit in the holes on top of the Crocs. They were loose in sectioned bins with only a tiny bar code attached.

 While I was distracted, the woman in the shop put the Jibbitz onto this card...

...and then into this plastic bag. 

I was too worn out to tell her she could keep her gratuitous packaging. Some days I just can't seem to muster the energy to change the world.