Thursday, 29 May 2008
There's a lot going on in my head right now (hard though that may be to believe) and while I enthusiastically commit myself to my thoughts throughout their conception, birth and toddler-hood, they now seem to have leaped straight to adulthood and have begun spawning baby thoughts at an alarming rate. This metaphoric proliferation is energising, but a little overwhelming. To be honest, at times, I feel scattered in the mind.
On Tuesday, DK and I were out visiting with friends when Wes called on my mobile. He had dropped by our house to deliver something, only to find the front door wide open and no one home. I had, I remembered, taken some things out to the car, meaning to go back inside for something else. Instead, I strapped DK into the car and took off without looking back.
I'm not sure that the excuse of pre-occupation with loftier things would have cut it with the insurance company had Wes not inadvertently come to the rescue and locked up for us.
Friday, 23 May 2008
Surprisingly, my last blog, Web Confessions, did not result in increased traffic. Although most of you wouldn't have noticed, I did, in fact, oh-so-subtly include a few terms that I felt likely to match commonly searched terms on Google.
What I did not account for, I think, is that Google blog search lists most recent blogs first. Who knew that terms like 'hot pussy' would be so frequently included in recent blogs that mine would be relegated to the recycling bin of the second page of Google results half an hour after posting? It seems there's a whole other genre of blogs I wasn't previously aware of. Actually though, I had more hits off of 'guinea pig' than 'hairy beaver'.
I think that we've all learnt an important lesson from this: cute beats dirty every time. I'm off to buy a fluffy bunny suit. My man arrives home from interstate tomorrow and I'm gonna show him a good time, Baby.
Thursday, 15 May 2008
I'm telling you all this because last night some poor, unsuspecting surfer typed the words, 'web' and 'confessions' into Google and ended up at The Pig Blog Web Log. This diversion from what might have been the seeker's purpose occurred because I included the following phrase in my blog: "My secret confession is that I love those squeaking rodents so much, I could squeeze them until their beady little eyes shoot from their heads like stars across the night sky." I suspect, perhaps unfairly, that the searcher had other things in mind. I can only imagine (with some considerable glee) their disappointment as pictures of cute fluffy guinea pigs began to load. Unfortunately for some, guinea pigs are not in the least bit sordid (except when they play chasey...ahem...).
I can't help but wonder what other inadvertent turns of phrase might bring hapless readers to my blog. That's the thing with the web, you never really know what you're getting.
Regardless, the blog must go on. Here are my (completely unrelated) thoughts for the day...
I was thinking about getting a cat, but it might be uncomfortable in summer and I certainly don't want a hot pussy. Maybe I'll get a big hairy beaver. Then again, there's always the risk of ending up with a smelly beaver and I really don't want that either. Perhaps I'll just learn about animals from watching TV. Tonight SBS is showing a documentary about the breeding program for untamed Sumatran Tigers in Indonesia. I think it's called 'Big Hot Pussy has Wild Sex'.
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Theo - Suspiciously rat-like
They are her dear pets and she spends countless hours loving them, reading to them and placing them atop her head, where I suspect they would stick like velcro to her chronically knotty hair were she to let them go. While I don't approve of this practice, it's not a battle I choose to wage. I assume it will be won easily enough one day when she makes a hapless hat of a piggy with a full bladder.In spite of all this little girl adoration, it is me who inevitably does a majority of the pig care. To be fair, this is mostly by design. DK can be a great help with general cleaning, but I don't entirely trust her seven-year-old grasp of the importance of good hygiene in the prevention of zoonotic infection.
We also have strict rules regarding pigs and hand-washing as well as the non-kissing of furry beasts (relatives excluded). Having said that, I have, myself, been caught more than once with a disgruntled guinea pig pressed firmly to my lips. My secret confession is that I love those squeaking rodents so much, I could squeeze them until their beady little eyes shoot from their heads like stars across the night sky.
We love all of our guinea pigs equally, of course, but we love Karen more equally than the others, not so much because she is a particularly loving, intelligent or kind-natured pig, but because she tolerates our attentions less disdainfully than the others. Her sister, Justine, distinguishes herself in that she is so pitifully lacking in endearing qualities that it is hard not to love her. Theodore is the baby of the 'herd' and thus holds the special place that the baby holds in any family.
The Tolerant Princess K
Had our neighbour come alone to our door to ask, 'Do you want him?', I would have said, 'No'; 'We don't have a hutch for him.'; 'We're not ready for him.'; 'We're not sure we even want Justine to have a litter anymore.' But since she brought the tiny baby Theodore with her, there was only one possible answer.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Monday, 12 May 2008
Anyway, I was thinking that if this was a different sort of blog, as opposed to the slightly uptight, semi-perfectionistic, fringe-dwelling ramble that it's shaping up to be, it would be far more sustainable. I really love blogs of all shapes and sizes and have identified several main types. What follows is an example of what I have dubbed (just now), the Mommy Procedural Blog. Like procedural cop shows such as CSI Springvale, the Mommy Procedural Blog focuses on the nuts and bolts of everyday life, allowing us a bland, but inexplicably fascinating window into the different and not so different lives of others. Often, they are tantalisingly short, only hinting at the epic story behind the story. Occasionally they are not tantalisingly short and meander from one side of the road to the other like a drunk driver until they hit a tree, bounce off and take to the road once more.
If this blog was a Mommy Procedural Blog today's entry would read like this:
Today we went to the mall. They were handing out free vegetarian hot dog samples on tooth picks. We took thirteen and served them with carrot sticks and ketchup for a nutritious and money-saving dinner. We kept the sticks for a craft project later in the week. We're planning to bind them together with cell-o-tape to make a fishing rod for Quinn's birthday. I can't wait!
See! Tell me you don't want to know more, in spite of the fact that there is not a single point of interest in that whole paragraph.
Okay... I promise I will try not to wait until I have something to say before I blog again. I will also try not to blog about blogging more than 50% of the time. Ooh! Another blogging genre, the Blog Blog!